![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Blah blah blah
Jul. 8th, 2009 02:28 amOkay, I feel like I haven't even been a real part of bandom for the past couple months, because this semester is killing me so hard. I was excited for August, because it meant the end of the semester + my first Panic concert.
I don't feel like making this a huge thing, so I'm just gonna say that I'm not stopping writing. In fact, I'm actually quite happy to keep writing the boys now. As sad as all of this makes me, the idea of continuing to write is what is helping me deal with it. I really, really want to write a happy post-split we're still bffs/lovers sort of thing, either GSF or Brendon/Ryan, Jon/Spencer. If this was truly amicable, if they are truly really close, good friends as they've seemed to be, then I don't see why it has to change that. Everyone's saying "well, it's because they were a band, and it was obvious how much they loved each other and now they aren't a band anymore, we were obviously wrong." All I can think is "well, then they loved each other enough to realise that as one band, not everyone was getting a voice. Not everyone was able to make the music they wanted to. So they loved each other enough to split up without a fight, for Ryan to *give away* his band and his *best friend*" Somehow, that seems like a better sign of real love, than forcing something that isn't working. *shrug*
Some random thoughts from me and Muse...
Me: I:m not entirely heartbroken. Well, I am. But I guess I:d rather them split like this than have some huge fight or something, and at least they:re all still making music. But Panic wasn:t just about the music. It was about how they were together, and how much they all seemed to love each other. Yeah, I like Brencer, but Jon/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon are my favourites, and where does this even put GSF? I tell myself that it can still be written. AUs are easy, and just because they:re not a band doesn:t mean they can:t still be together (I:m all about the Gabe/William, after all). But a lot of authors are saying they don:t want to write anything, which depresses me almost as much as the split.
Muse: Yah - I've been seeing a lot of people saying that they're not interested in finishing WIPS or writing new, which depresses me MORE than the split, actually. I mean, no - it won't be the SAME music, but both halves are still going to be making music, which means that there's
new and exciting stuff on the horizon from both camps. And I get it re: the writing; I mean, it's like opening the wounds all over to write about a source of inspiration that is not longer a cohesive whole. But on the other hand, if it's a good enough story on its own merit, it's
totally worth it to continue it, regardless of whether it's incidentally supported by cannon. I've also seen a lot of people talking about how they're not interested in READING the now-non-cannonical ships anymore, (which I understand even less, but, okay - people are entitled to their opinions) and I can understand how, if one is writing primarily for the feedback, the idea that fewer people will be reading their stuff might be a detractor from the impetus to finish writing, even if they really do dig the story qua story. IDK - maybe I feel differently about writing than most people.
Me: I do believe some are just too disappointed/hurt right now. What seems so, so strange to me, is the fact that Spencer and Brendon are still Panic. Which means they're still claiming all of Panic's songs as theirs. Means they'll be playing them live. That seems wrong to do, without Ryan. I mean, the first cd is his *life* and the second is a lot of him and Jon. Of course, as I've said, Brendon made those songs real, for me. I imagine that as long as he's singing them, I'll still love them.
I don't feel like making this a huge thing, so I'm just gonna say that I'm not stopping writing. In fact, I'm actually quite happy to keep writing the boys now. As sad as all of this makes me, the idea of continuing to write is what is helping me deal with it. I really, really want to write a happy post-split we're still bffs/lovers sort of thing, either GSF or Brendon/Ryan, Jon/Spencer. If this was truly amicable, if they are truly really close, good friends as they've seemed to be, then I don't see why it has to change that. Everyone's saying "well, it's because they were a band, and it was obvious how much they loved each other and now they aren't a band anymore, we were obviously wrong." All I can think is "well, then they loved each other enough to realise that as one band, not everyone was getting a voice. Not everyone was able to make the music they wanted to. So they loved each other enough to split up without a fight, for Ryan to *give away* his band and his *best friend*" Somehow, that seems like a better sign of real love, than forcing something that isn't working. *shrug*
Some random thoughts from me and Muse...
Me: I:m not entirely heartbroken. Well, I am. But I guess I:d rather them split like this than have some huge fight or something, and at least they:re all still making music. But Panic wasn:t just about the music. It was about how they were together, and how much they all seemed to love each other. Yeah, I like Brencer, but Jon/Spencer, Ryan/Brendon are my favourites, and where does this even put GSF? I tell myself that it can still be written. AUs are easy, and just because they:re not a band doesn:t mean they can:t still be together (I:m all about the Gabe/William, after all). But a lot of authors are saying they don:t want to write anything, which depresses me almost as much as the split.
Muse: Yah - I've been seeing a lot of people saying that they're not interested in finishing WIPS or writing new, which depresses me MORE than the split, actually. I mean, no - it won't be the SAME music, but both halves are still going to be making music, which means that there's
new and exciting stuff on the horizon from both camps. And I get it re: the writing; I mean, it's like opening the wounds all over to write about a source of inspiration that is not longer a cohesive whole. But on the other hand, if it's a good enough story on its own merit, it's
totally worth it to continue it, regardless of whether it's incidentally supported by cannon. I've also seen a lot of people talking about how they're not interested in READING the now-non-cannonical ships anymore, (which I understand even less, but, okay - people are entitled to their opinions) and I can understand how, if one is writing primarily for the feedback, the idea that fewer people will be reading their stuff might be a detractor from the impetus to finish writing, even if they really do dig the story qua story. IDK - maybe I feel differently about writing than most people.
Me: I do believe some are just too disappointed/hurt right now. What seems so, so strange to me, is the fact that Spencer and Brendon are still Panic. Which means they're still claiming all of Panic's songs as theirs. Means they'll be playing them live. That seems wrong to do, without Ryan. I mean, the first cd is his *life* and the second is a lot of him and Jon. Of course, as I've said, Brendon made those songs real, for me. I imagine that as long as he's singing them, I'll still love them.
