Word Count, Emo Ryan and Various AU Plot Bunnies. Oh my...

37,171 / 20,000 (185.9%)

Yeah. I don't even know. Maybe it's going somewhere. There's sex now, anyway. Finally.

Meanwhile, these are the sort of epic email battles my Muse and I have while she's at work...
Muse: *goes off to read about why RyRo is the crown princess of Stupid Boys*
Me: If you did not know this already, you are in a different fandom from me.
Muse: Well, yes. But I want to see why SPECIFICALLY this time.
Me: He has reasons, okay? Did you know his parents got killed in the meteor?
Muse: Really? I thought an evil wizard had cursed his parents until they were ded.
Me: Gosh, maybe I was just confused, because I think I suddenly remembered that his band has been stranded in the Delta Quadrant and it's ALL HIS FAULT!
Muse: No, no, no. He's actually a vampire in love with a mortal. But his skin SPARKLES in the SUN. IT IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER!
Me: Wait, wait, wait. I think you're confused. I think he's a vampire who didn't *want* to be turned, thank you very much, and he's miserable and god doesn't want him anymore, and he just wants to die and be with his dead wife and kid, except GOD DOESN'T WANT HIM ANYMORE!!!!
Muse: Oh, NOW I remember. He's actually a vampire with a SOUL. And he's in love with this person who loves him, too, but he can't ever EXPRESS his love in a physical way because if he were EVER to be HAPPY, he would LOSE his soul, and destroy EVERYTHING HE CARES ABOUT.
...While wearing leather pants and eyeliner.
( It Only Gets Better )

Obviously the answer to all of these is YES!

ETA: Bonus points, my eternal love and a porny drabble of your choice if you can tell me what I was referencing when I mentioned the prostitute who gets r4p3d by the evil sorcerer.